A Family that Stayed Together

We’ve heard so many heart-wrenching stories about families being torn apart, I thought that we could use a story about a family that stayed together against all odds. What makes this even sweeter? You all helped keep them together.

Many of you all are familiar with our family with 2 sets of twins and a toddler. If you aren’t, please check out this blog from March 2018 to read their story and how immediate their needs were at that time.  Our family had been staying at a local mission and were coming up to the end of their stay, which at that time, if they had nowhere else to go, CPS would be called and the children taken away from their parents, leaving Mom and Dad both homeless on the streets.  Through the power of Love, we were able to get them accepted into a program with Family Promise, here in Wake County, but it was going to be a while before they could start.  We had to intervene.

Several selfless gifts from folks who support our work, allowed them to live in a long-stay hotel for a month and have regional bus passes.  They got to work on getting all of their appointments lined up in preparation to enter the program.  Five car seats are VERY DIFFICULT to move, and it took me calling in all of the favors to get them moved out of the mission into the hotel.  Before we secured a safe place for them to be, it was very scary.  I stayed up, worried.  The family was worried every second that something bad would happen.  Luckily, we were able to keep them safe until they entered the program.

We called in favors again and got them moved into Family Promise as soon as they had an opening.  Dad found work, and things were looking up.  Everyone thought that things would be okay.  Mom was still nursing tiny babies and they were relying on Dad’s paycheck to make it though the program.  Then we hit a big bump in the road, and Dad got arrested.  Mom was alone with 5 kids at the tail-end of an 8 week program with no job of her own.  She called me in tears.  They had come so far, and now it was just like starting over.  I helped her pack up some things to exit the program, and a church friend of hers was able to get her and 3 of the 5 kids to a hotel room while our friend, Amanda kept the tiny babies for us.  We had to figure out a plan, the room was only for 1 night.

I arrived at the family day center the next day and started calling hotels.  It was graduation weekend, and every hotel was maxed to capacity and the ones that weren’t were charging premium rates.  Then another person at the day center reminded me of a long stay hotel that was a little further out than most and might now have hiked their rates.  I called, and with $100 that a friend gave me, got them a room for two nights.  We packed all 3 kids, Mom and her stuff in a tiny Fiat, and I drove them to the hotel.

When we got there, it was actually less expensive to rent a room by the week, so even though we didn’t have the money, I decided to go ahead and do it and ask the Universe for forgiveness later.  Mom settled in, and Pastor Hugh wrote about what we were doing on Facebook.  You all came to the rescue like troopers!!! Individual donors stepped up and paid for the room until the end of the month!!!  The family had been accepted into a program called “Passage Home” that helps people find places to live that they can afford, we just needed to keep them safe and together until a unit was found.

I’m proud to say that I got a phone call yesterday, and they did it!  They signed the lease on their townhouse yesterday through Passage Home and the lights are being turned on today.  Mom was a success.  She is taking classes in administrative work so that she can secure a good job so that she and her family will never fall through the cracks again!

Here’s what I want to do.  She’s given me permission to come over, do some Facebook Live about their journey, and show you all the house!!!  I’ll get a list of some furniture and such that they need, and then we’ll load it all up to the YouTube channel, and I’ll post the link back on this blog so that future readers get to see it too.  I’m so proud of our family and I’m so proud of you all!!! If you would like to donate towards us being able to keep other families from being separated because of homelessness, click here to help someone in your community that really needs a hand up.

Family with Newborn Twins Needs our Help!

When Janelle* and Roger* were evacuated from Orlando during the storms, they were hoping that everything would be okay. They hoped that their rental house would be intact when they came home, so they headed to N.C., where Janelle’s sister lived with her boyfriend. Janelle, already very pregnant with twins, packed up their twin 6-year-olds, Alex* and Lucy*, as well as their 1-year-old son, Lee*, and headed to her sister’s house for “just a few days”.

“Just a few days” turned into “Just a few weeks”, as things took a turn for the worse. A tree had fallen on their rent house and destroyed it.  When “a few weeks” turned into “a few months”, Janelle’s sister’s relationship with her boyfriend fell apart, leaving both sisters to fend for themselves. Her sister found a roommate situation easily, but with 3 children and 2 on the way, Janelle and Roger had a harder time. The sudden relocation had left Roger with a job paying a fraction of what he was previously making, and things started to fall through the cracks.

They checked into the local mission, where men are not allowed to be on the same floor as women. They had to meet up outside of the mission for Roger to see and play with the kids. Janelle’s pregnancy was now so far along that she was supposed to be on bed rest, but with 3 young children and without her partner, she wasn’t able to follow the doctor’s orders. The rules of the mission are that people who stay there have to work there every day, but it was proving challenging for Janelle to do even the lightest housework, especially while watching over young children. Janelle gave birth while staying at the mission, and now has twin babies, a boy and a girl.

Roger got to be there for the birth, but then they were separated again. He started sleeping on the streets because it was easier for him to make his 5 a.m. time at the labor pool. Janelle struggled with post-partum recovery, unable to breastfeed because of lack of privacy and judgment from other residents, and all of the challenges that go with keeping up with her other 3 children while caring for newborns alone. She needed Roger’s help, and he wanted so badly to be there, but that was against the rules, so she struggled on without him, seeing him in moments when she could.

Roger had been coming to Love Wins for several months when one day, he showed up with a baby boy, 1 ½ years old, toddling around and chewing on a pancake. We met Lee, and had no idea that Roger had any children at all, let alone 5!

Roger showed us pictures of the new babies and we were excited to meet mom. Janelle arrived within the hour off of the local bus with two of the tiniest, cutest little bags of sugar we’ve had the pleasure of holding in a long time. Roger hadn’t told us about his family because he wasn’t sure that there was much we could do to help, and both parents were deathly afraid of having their children taken away while they were so vulnerable and doing everything they could.

We immediately called Family Promise, the only shelter option in Wake County that keeps entire families together. Our system isn’t really tailored to deal with active dads or, in other cases, families with teenaged boys. Typically, the women and children are separated from the father or older brother, and in this case, this family was about to fall through the cracks. Family Promise got them on their waiting list right there on the phone, and Janelle and Roger felt hope.

Janelle and Roger’s family still wasn’t safe, though.  Janelle had been told several times that she was “on thin ice” at the mission because she had been there for so long, and had been threatened that, if she was kicked out, CPS would be called immediately and all of the children removed. She pleaded for a daycare option so that she could work, but didn’t qualify for one. Her babies were only 2 weeks old; average maternity leave is 6 weeks. We decided that this situation wasn’t safe, and started a campaign to get them, all together, into a situation that was.

Luckily, I have a friend who is the general manager of a hotel in a nice area that is quiet and on a bus line. She gave us an outstanding rate for a room with a kitchenette at only $50/day. This was a safe place. It’s a nice hotel typically frequented by people on business trips near a very big company that often has people in for business. They would have a laundry room, free breakfast every day, wifi to help them navigate their world, and it was within walking distance of a grocery store and a Walgreens. We were so happy and put the word out on Facebook that we needed to raise funds to keep them in housing, and our people came to the rescue. Currently, they have safe housing until Tuesday, March 14.

Janelle and Roger are beaming now. They’re a step ahead of us all the way. They’ve set up appointments with their social workers, the elementary school, Family Promise and hospital visits. We were able to get them Regional Bus Passes, which allow them to travel all of Wake County, not just Raleigh, so that they can make their appointments and get the kids to the bus stop. The older twins are going to school every day, and they were instantly flourishing.

Roger can’t make the 5 a.m. labor call right now without sleeping outdoors (our busses don’t run at that time), so they’re using this time to do every single thing that they can until they get approved for a housing program- the waiting lists are long, but they’re on both Wake County and Durham County waiting lists, so they’re hedging their bets. I’ve talked to all of their social workers on a daily basis, and they’re meeting all requirements. We’ve given them the tools to be successful, but we still need your help.

Here’s what we need:

  • The waiting lists in both counties are long. If you would like to contribute directly to another night of safety, it’s only $50/night for a family of 7. Please email me at maranda@lovewinscec.org for details and I’ll get you the information you need so we can pay the hotel directly. To keep this family safe through April 1st will be $900 total.
  • Regional bus passes (that transfer to Go Raleigh) are $20 each, giving the rider a $25 value. We’ll need 6 of those, totaling $120. Kids ride for free!
  • Sometimes there are problems only money can solve – for example, birth certificates cost $15 each, especially if you have no address. Not everything falls into a box, and sometimes the difference between a “problem” and a “problem solved” is $10. We would like to raise $500 to have funds to throw at problems like this as they come up.

Stretch Goal:

  • Once they can enter a program, they become eligible for Wheels for Hope, a non-profit that provides people with vehicles that they can afford. This family has 3 car seats to deal with for the next few years and will probably need a van or SUV. (If you have a van or SUV that you would like to donate, we would love to hear from you.) I’m estimating total costs of that to be $1000.00. If we can help them cover some of this cost in the future, I think that would be a wonderful house-warming gift.

Here is how you can help:

If you want to help us with the hotel – email me at maranda@lovewinscec.org for details on how to pay the hotel directly.

For everything else, you can just donate via our donate page and we will make sure it gets to the right place. (If you wanted to send the family notes of encouragement or gift cards, you can mail them to the address on the donate page as well.)

Sometimes, it is easy to feel overwhelmed in the world, like a problem is so big that you can’t make a difference. Here is a concrete way for you to make a difference in one family’s life.  Life is hard. Life with newborns is harder, and doing it while homeless is near impossible without a village, or a community. Luckily, now they have that!